Dear Donald

I mean, truly, America...is the the best we can do? Really?

dear donald:

let me just say up front that you were never my type. i never liked you. never ever. when you were married to ivana i knew you were gonna leave her flat. i knew it. i saw it. when ivana had her face done and lips plumped (pumped?) i knew it was because you wanted younger, sexier, hotter. when you were married to marla i knew - KNEW- it was not the best sex she ever had (thank you NEW YORK POST for THAT HEADLINE) because there is no way you can have sex with a man who has a combover and it be the best sex ever. and then you left her high and DRY, and now you're married to Marvana, or Marlena or Maramar, (or whatever her name is) and i give this marriage maybe a couple of more years. Maybe.  i just never thought of you as 'the guy.' i thought you were arrogant and cocky and full of shit. But you didn't really deeply offend me. Your taste in furnishings offended me, all the gold gilded bathrooms and louis the 14th drapes and marble floors and bathtubs with hot and cold running rubies. But ... that didn't feel personal. Not my taste. i like simple, plain, uncluttered. i like southwestern, you like south of france. 

and i don't like your lips. not only wouldn't i wanna kiss them, i'm awfully offended at what comes out of them. 

you're so not my type. 

i like harvard men.

with no respect what so ever,

amy

Dear America,

Oh, how you exhaust me. I just spent years trying to educate you about the dangers of giving power to a narcissist – especially an ignorant narcissist. Alaska, remember when you voted Palin in to power, and when the accolades weren’t pouring in anymore, she quit? Have we learned nothing here?

Now everyone’s talking about a man who has gold plated sinks, who openly engages in public feuds through “media statements” and twitters, who treats women as nothing more than arm candy, who publicly declares that our President is not an American citizen even though all the proof is before him. Sounds like I’m talking about Kaddafi, but no. I’m talking about someone who calls himself “The Donald”. Yes, the Donald, a reality TV star who recently challenged President Obama’s college records, denying he was even a good student. (Uh, Helloooo? Magna cum laude at Harvard, President of Harvard Law Review? Not difficult information to come by, The Donald. All you had to do was google it.)

If any of you, seriously ANY of you, are truly considering this man as a candidate for the American Presidency, I officially give up on you.

Done.

I’ve had it!

Barb and Deb, fluff up the pillows in the guest room. I may be moving to Canada soon.

Disgruntledly yours –

Hollye