Wednesday, December 1, 2010


i'm pro-choice. i'm all for people making choices in their lives.

and, you know, they don't have to make the same choices as me.

they can have their OPINION.

i love that i have choices. i get to choose friends, and partners, and clothes, and food, and furniture, and politicians, and hair salons and doctors and restaurants and medication and pets and cars and all sorts of things, i get to choose where i live and what i say and who i love. my choice. and i just love that. and sometimes i make choices and wow oh fucking wow are they the wrong choices, so i get to make new choices, and hopefully i get to learn from my mistakes, and if not, well, then i get to make more choices.

and it seems to me that those who are so clearly pro-life get to choose too. boy oh boy do they choose. they get to choose who they love and what they wear and who they don't like and what they say and who they vote for and where they eat and where they picket and what they burn and what kind of cars and houses they buy and what news and radio they listen to and the company they keep. and you bet a lot of their choices i don't agree with. not my choices.

so, it looks like everyone is choosing. holy shit ... everyone it seems is pro-choice.

and to clarify, i'm pretty pro-life also, i love (okay, maybe not every single day....) waking up in the morning, i love that i get to kiss my husband and friends (yes, on the lips, thank you very much!), that i get to watch the sun rise and set, that i get to write and speak and share my thoughts, visit my friends, go to the movies, and theater and laugh and cry and help someone else get through a day. i'm pretty found of life. i think life is extraordinary, even in the worst of times. i'm all for life.

yep, yep, that sounds pretty pro-life to me.

someone said to me yesterday that she was pro-life and ... tada.. "didn't think i was," which by the way, i can understand, so, i kinda looked at her and asked, well, why, what makes you think that? and she said, well, because you're clearly pro-choice, and i said to her, well yes, I am pro-choice, and she asked, well how can you be "pro-life and pro-choice" and i said:

well, you know, i'm also all for pro-bowling, and pro-tennis, and pro-golf, and all for pro-bono work (which is very different than sonny bono work), and pro-skating and pro-duce, and pro-phylactics, and pro-mo and pro-ton, and pro-baseball...

and she kinda looked at me and said, yeah, well, what about an abortion, you think that that's okay? is that what you're saying?

and i looked right at her and said, "you my dear are trying to kill my opinions, wouldn't you call that an abortion?"

i left it at that.


  1. Amy, this is one of the most brilliant blog postings I've ever read. Reposting it for you RIGHT NOW. Blessings to you, my brilliant online friend and champion of women. ALL women.

  2. Love it! It's the basis for my first book, this messy thing of choice and how we all like it and how we all do it and how we ought to let each other be and maybe use our energies to sympathize and empathize and help each other make informed choices instead of forcing others to do what we think we would do.

    Thanks for this!

  3. Amy if you get any better at this word thing I'll be left to wash your feet. Which in any event would be an honor and an honorable thing to do.
    Re your comment about being pro-life even when it isn't easy I wanted to share a quote from John Mellencamp's grandmother. Nah, we weren't friends, I heard him interviewed on Fresh Air and so loved this idea.
    She used to tell young John that "Live is short, even on the longest days." My gawd is that beautiful or what?
    Like you, beautiful and honest and a peacemaker--who wouldda thunk it?

  4. Love this blog post! Here's to women empowering other women and letting our voices be heard about our choices.

  5. I choose to tell you i love you.

    (Thank you VICTORIA!)
    I am 100% pro-life, which means I do my best to avoid those who are pro-death. What's so great about being alive? Exhibit A: I placed a hummingbird feeder outside my window and it took months for a bird to find it, but now I have a daily visitor with a magnificent fuchsia ring around its neck—it's called an Anna's Hummingbird—and it hovers there, dipping its beak into the feeder, and I think (again) how much I love being alive, and wouldn't Mom love this? But she died this year and missed the event. Which makes me pro-life. Which brings us to the subject of abortion. Oh, please. My body. My choice. And since when do strangers in Idaho or Texas or Washington, D.C. get to decide? (Oh, wait, they DO! And doesn't that make them pro-choice?) As for washing your feet, Amy: I admit that I admire you, but at my age, honey, I'm lucky if I can remember to wash my own.