Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Dear Donald

I mean, truly, America...is the the best we can do? Really?

dear donald:

let me just say up front that you were never my type. i never liked you. never ever. when you were married to ivana i knew you were gonna leave her flat. i knew it. i saw it. when ivana had her face done and lips plumped (pumped?) i knew it was because you wanted younger, sexier, hotter. when you were married to marla i knew - KNEW- it was not the best sex she ever had (thank you NEW YORK POST for THAT HEADLINE) because there is no way you can have sex with a man who has a combover and it be the best sex ever. and then you left her high and DRY, and now you're married to Marvana, or Marlena or Maramar, (or whatever her name is) and i give this marriage maybe a couple of more years. Maybe.  i just never thought of you as 'the guy.' i thought you were arrogant and cocky and full of shit. But you didn't really deeply offend me. Your taste in furnishings offended me, all the gold gilded bathrooms and louis the 14th drapes and marble floors and bathtubs with hot and cold running rubies. But ... that didn't feel personal. Not my taste. i like simple, plain, uncluttered. i like southwestern, you like south of france. 
and i don't like your lips. not only wouldn't i wanna kiss them, i'm awfully offended at what comes out of them. 
you're so not my type. 
i like harvard men.

with no respect what so ever,


Dear America,

Oh, how you exhaust me. I just spent years trying to educate you about the dangers of giving power to a narcissist – especially an ignorant narcissist. Alaska, remember when you voted Palin in to power, and when the accolades weren’t pouring in anymore, she quit? Have we learned nothing here?

Now everyone’s talking about a man who has gold plated sinks, who openly engages in public feuds through “media statements” and twitters, who treats women as nothing more than arm candy, who publicly declares that our President is not an American citizen even though all the proof is before him. Sounds like I’m talking about Kaddafi, but no. I’m talking about someone who calls himself “The Donald”. Yes, the Donald, a reality TV star who recently challenged President Obama’s college records, denying he was even a good student. (Uh, Helloooo? Magna cum laude at Harvard, President of Harvard Law Review? Not difficult information to come by, The Donald. All you had to do was google it.)

If any of you, seriously ANY of you, are truly considering this man as a candidate for the American Presidency, I officially give up on you.
I’ve had it!

Barb and Deb, fluff up the pillows in the guest room. I may be moving to Canada soon.

Disgruntledly yours –



  1. I so agree with you. The man has used backers for years. I am not sure how much money he really has or has had because I think he fiddles with the books. He uses other people's money and gets huge finders fee. The only thing I really do not understand is how he got such great grown up children from the first marriage. They all graduated from top colleges and went on to get masters and are so articulate I just have to acknowledge that. But for him he is an arrogant, self serving major narcissist. He is a fake. I can't imagine he will really run as he will have to show records and tax returns and I really think he won't do that. Thanks for stirring the pot up and making me actually write about this ahole.

  2. Rant on....... I am SO with you! His head looks like the inside of a butternut squash!

  3. There may be a more devious side to his game plan. His bizarre behavior makes the candidacy of the Sarahs, Michelles, Newts, and Huckabees seem all the more rational. Then, when he has played his course, he withdraws and throws his collected campaign funds into the camp of the candidate he prefers to support/purchase.

  4. Oh boy. Sadly, in Canada we are also in the middle of a controversial election where our Conservative government might go from a minority to a majority ... and that is not good. When did politics stop attracting the decent gentlemen and women (your elegant, articulate president not included in this) and become a magnet for the maniacal, misogynist and myopic?!

    Hollye, the pillows aren't fluffed in my house, but you're welcome all the same!


  5. i know this comment is a bit late but i still need to say it ... i gave The Donald my Douche #3 Award (after that rapist from France and the Sperminator) ... brilliant you two. Like I keep saying ... WOMEN NEED TO RUN THE WORLD!!!
    AMY, HOLLYE what do you say - Amy - Prez, Hollye, VP and I'll be the Speaker of the house!!!!! LOL